Childsupport: The Great Debate

I listened in on a radio broadcast where the topic was about child support. I know this is a touchy topic, but it amazed me on how the majority of the male callers boldly stated that they feel the money they provide for child support should go directly to the child, i.e. clothes, school supplies, etc. and nothing else. There was only one male caller who chimed in and actually had a very realistic and mature view about his child support and how his ex-wife should use it. He made it clear that she's to use the money in anyway that requires her to take care of his children, which yes, even paying bills with it. I was praising that brother with so many "Amens" that you would think I was sitting in on a Sunday service.

I know that there are a lot of men out there that feel if they are paying child support that there is nothing else they need to provide for the child, be it new shoes or even Christmas presents. And these are the same men who also feel that women only use the child support money for themselves and not on the kids. Now, yes...there are some trifling women who take the money and run with it, but they do not make up the majority of us who receives child support and uses it correctly.

Before my daughter started Kindergarten, 90% of the monthly support I received went to cover her childcare costs. So, guess who was left with buying her clothes year-round, co-pays for doctor visits, birthday and Christmas presents, etc.? And yes the excess money did/does goes into my gas tank because the last time I check Honda Accords don't run on air. My car serves as a taxi taking her to and from, here and there. And the last time I checked, the law does require me to have lights on in the house, proper heating and cooling and food in the fridge, so yes, child support money does and will continue to take care of these incidentals as well. These men know that if a woman had their kids wearing the newest Sean John or Baby Phat for kids, but sitting in the dark without anything to eat, they'll be ready to kill someone. So, why do they trip about how the money is spent?

I know some of you are saying that I should be grateful that I'm receiving child support because a lot of women aren't; and you know what? You're right. I am grateful because raising a child is expensive and every little bit helps. Truth be told, there have been times when I just wouldn't have been able to provide for my little one had I not received support; which is the point I'm trying to make.

However, please believe that if I did not receive a dime, my daughter would still be taken care of. My mother raised two children without a husband or any type of support. ( Getting money every month? Please!) And I know there are women who are doing the same thing, so I pay homage to all single mothers, rather they receive support or not, because at the end of the day, there's no number or price that can be placed over our children's heads. We're going to maintain, survive and take care of our blessings regardless.

And the church says, "Aaaaaaaa-men".